[with a little effort and persistence, you unearth at least a few things from the pile. you now have:

a crowbar
a pile of paint tubes in crazed bright colors
an antique-looking hotel telephone with the cord cut, the source of the ringing -- the cut cord is sparking a bit, with no indication of where - or if - the other side is in the mass of feathers. THIS IS A TERRIBLE SYSTEM.

R I N G]